wiki How to Find Love
Understand what you have to offer. Love means sharing yourself with someone else who accepts you for who you are. Before you can expect someone else to accept you, though, you must know what “self” you are projecting. You might start by writing down the answers to these questions. Your answers will help paint a picture of the “you” you are offering to your potential partner.
- What are your best qualities?
- What do you like to do with your time?
- What do you love about yourself?
- What would you like to work on?
- What makes you feel uncomfortable?
Build confidence. Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, a hilarious crowd pleaser or a very kind friend, be confident about what you have to offer someone else. When it comes to finding love, there is no right personality type, no special trait that will get you ahead. Contrary to what you might see in romantic comedies and sitcoms, everyone has a shot at love – not just the most popular or conventionally attractive among us. So know what you have, and own it.
Know what you’re looking for in someone else. Part of knowing yourself is knowing your relationship needs. Writing down what you consider to be the most important traits of your potential partner is a good way to figure out what you actually mean when you say you’re looking for love.
- Try not to be too specific with this list of traits. For instance, instead of saying “six feet tall, brown hair, dark eyes,” focus on personality traits that matter to you. Do you want someone who’s honest to a fault? Someone who shares your passion for books?
- It may also be helpful to write down a list of definite “no’s.” For example, you might not want a partner who travels six months out of the year, or someone who doesn’t get along with your family.
- Remember that the point here is not to craft a projection of your future partner; you’re just sketching out the basic qualities you’d enjoy having in a partner so you can understand your own needs better. Chances are, the person you end up loving will only have a few of the qualities on your list.
Part Two of Three:
Reach Out Edit
Meet people. One of the best ways to do this is to start by making friends. It is always said that making friends is the surest way to finding love, and that’s because it’s true; it’s a great way to build a mutual relationship based on caring and trust. When you’re making friends, keep these tips in mind:
- Don’t be judgmental. This is probably the most important rule when it comes to the beginnings of friendship and love. If you can’t get past someone’s dorky haircut, you’ll never know how well you would have gotten along with that person. The attraction doesn’t always have to be there the first time you meet someone.
- Be generous with your time. Making friends requires a bit of commitment. If you’re serious about finding love, get serious about spending time with people. Accept invitations to parties, sporting events, and concerts. If you aren’t much of a joiner, ask a few people out for lunch or coffee. The point is to create a lot of situations that give you the chance to get to know people – and it’s hard to do that from home.
Present yourself as someone who’s available. This doesn’t mean you need to shout to the rooftops that you’re on a quest for love, but take measures to make sure people know you’re available and willing to take things further if the opportunity arises.
- Consider your appearance. When you’re looking for love, dress like the best version of yourself. Don’t force yourself into a style or look that makes you feel uncomfortable. Instead, project your confidence and uniqueness with clean, well-styled clothes and a pleasant expression on your face. The addition of a little perfume or cologne also helps to send out the right kind of signal.
- Be an attentive and encouraging listener. If you find someone interesting, ask a lot of questions. Next time you see that person, follow up by recalling something he or she said and mentioning it at the beginning of the conversation. Show people you care about them.
- Be honest and sincere. In other words, be yourself. Willingness to present yourself to the world as you are is an act of courage, and that’s attractive.
Try dating services. Consider online dating, for example. Using an online dating network is a great way to find out who is available in your area. However, don’t fall into the trap of being too picky, or judging everyone by their profile picture. If you want to find love, you’ll have to give people a chance – the same chance you’d want them to give you.
- Joining a singles group at your religious center or school can help you circulate with other people who share your mindset.
- Bars and clubs are popular places to look for love, but if you want to find a longer-term relationship, you might find it easier to get to know people in places that facilitate conversation.
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