#dating after divorce
I’ve Started Dating Again, are There any Rules I Need to Know?
By Cathy Meyer. Divorce Support Expert
Cathy Meyer is a Certified Divorce Coach, Marriage Educator and Legal Investigator. She works with people who expected to be married forever but are now facing divorce. Through her writing and individual coaching, Cathy provides clients with strategies and resources that empower them and equip them to grow through a time of adversity.
Cathy shares her expertise here on About.com, The Huffington and as the Founding Editor of DivorcedMoms.com.
Updated August 23, 2016.
Dating after divorce is no different than dating before divorce. You ve been out of the dating game for years or decades but when it comes to dating, the rules remain the same before and after divorce.
There are no hard, fast rules when it comes to what you should do to get back into the swing of dating after divorce. If you have lain to rest all the emotional baggage and feel truly ready to date you will probably do fine.
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If you have doubts about dating after divorce, the following 8 tips will help you navigate the dating scene more easily.
It pays to be wise and judicious when re-entering the dating game after divorce. Now that you are newly single, try to bring balance to your life. You may be eager to date but don’t forget to make time for yourself as well as spend time with friends and family. Date if you feel ready but, don’t make it your whole life or feel you must jump back into the dating game before you are ready.
2. Cultivate relationships with other single people.
If you don’t already have single friends, then find some. Your single friends will be a great resource because they are in a similar place and it always helps to have company when dealing with a new lifestyle and situation.
You will find, having single friends to socialize with is a great way to slowly re-introduce yourself into dating and doing things with a member of the opposite sex.
3. One date does not form a relationship.
It’s important to know that everyone you date will not be interested in a second date.
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Just because you were interested in a second date doesn’t mean they have to be. Don’t let the fact that you don’t get called to go out again deter you or cause you to think negatively about yourself. Move on to the next person and be willing to go through the process of elimination. Don’t take dating or yourself too seriously.
4. Don’t come on too strong.
If you were in a long-term marriage then you are used to being part of a couple. Divorce means changing habits and take on the role of a single individual. Don’t let the couple habit cause you to come on too strong and chase someone special away. You are dating, not stalking so be careful not to overwhelm.
5. Don’t forget to respect yourself.
Go slowly when it comes to sharing information about yourself with a date. It will convey a sense of self – respect and create mystery. So, keep the details to a minimum until you know they are worthy of hearing them.
6. The world is your test tube.
Approach the dating game with an attitude of openness and experimentation. You might now find Mr./Ms. Right on every date you go on but, keep an open mind and you will at least learn something new.
Don’t box yourself in with the idea that you have a “type” that you are attracted to. Change those old thought process, step outside your head and broaden your horizons. You may find that what you thought would make you gag, actually makes you happy.
8. Never underestimate the power of flirting.
Nothing is more fun than flirting and nothing helps you connect to another person quicker than being playful. Be charming and delightful, show some vitality. Keep it light and festive, not deep and serious. Keep your mind in the moment and not on the long-term goal of falling in love.
What next? Now that you know the rules below are a few articles that will help you navigate your reentry into the dating world.