Big Data Analytics
What is Big Data Analytics?
Big data analytics is the use of advanced analytic techniques against very large, diverse data sets that include different types such as structured/unstructured and streaming/batch, and different sizes from terabytes to zettabytes. Big data is a term applied to data sets whose size or type is beyond the ability of traditional relational databases to capture, manage, and process the data with low-latency. And it has one or more of the following characteristics – high volume, high velocity, or high variety. Big data comes from sensors, devices, video/audio, networks, log files, transactional applications, web, and social media – much of it generated in real time and in a very large scale.
Analyzing big data allows analysts, researchers, and business users to make better and faster decisions using data that was previously inaccessible or unusable. Using advanced analytics techniques such as text analytics, machine learning, predictive analytics, data mining, statistics, and natural language processing, businesses can analyze previously untapped data sources independent or together with their existing enterprise data to gain new insights resulting in significantly better and faster decisions.
Related products or solutions
IBM Stream Computing
Process data streams which are always on and never ceasing. Spot opportunities and risks across all data.
IBM Predictive Analytics
Advanced analytics capabilities spanning ad-hoc statistical analysis, predictive modeling, data mining, text analytics, entity analytics, optimization, real-time scoring, machine learning and more.
IBM SPSS Statistics
SPSS Statistics addresses the entire statistical analysis process—planning, data collection, analysis, reporting—for better decision making and performance.
IBM Watson Analytics
Uncover new insights quickly and easily with automated data analysis, automatic visualization and predictive analytics.
Splunk: Guggenheim Excited That Competitor ArcSight May Be Starved of Funds
Shares of Big Data and analytics software maker Splunk (SPLK ) are up $1.48, or 2.6%, at $58.61, after Guggenheim ’s Nate Cunningham this morning raised his rating on the shares to Buy from Neutral, as he thinks the company can steal business from ArcSight. a competitor that Hewlett Packard Enterprise (HPE ) is divesting to Micro Focus International PLC (MCROL ).
Cunningham, who raises his price target a buck to $70, writes that he was concerned last October, when he downgraded the stock, about the “model transition” of Splunk, as it moved further into cloud computing.
Now, however, he sees a “jump ball worth $300 million in the form of ArcSight, whose operations he expects to be suddenly underfunded and vulnerable as ArcSight takes over.
Since going public, Splunk has rapidly grown into one of the largest providers of security information and event management (SIEM) software, and today IBM (IBM, NEUTRAL, $153.79) is the only vendor with more revenue in this category. Coming in third is HPE’s ArcSight, which Gartner estimates generated nearly $300 million in revenue in 2016. In September, HPE is scheduled to divest its Software business, including ArcSight, to the British infrastructure software provider Micro Focus (which already has a small SIEM offering). Micro Focus has publicly declared its intention to reduce costs in the software business, and we expect ArcSight’s product development investments to suffer as a result. While we believe that ArcSight’s installed base has been fertile ground for Splunk’s customer acquisition in recent years, we see the impending spin-out of the HPE Enterprise Software business as a potential catalyst for further installed base disruption, which should benefit Splunk.
Cunningham expects Micro Focus itself may help Splunk to lure away business, by starving the business of funds:
When HPE announced last fall that it would be divesting its software business to Micro Focus, the latter company made no secret of its intention to optimize the business for cash flow. In the text of its transaction announcement, Micro Focus stated that it plans to bring the operating margins of solutions representing
80% of HPE Software revenue from 21% to Micro Focus’ group- wide 46% within four years. This led The Telegraph to posit that job cuts were imminent at HPE Software, as Micro Focus’ acquisition playbook has typically involved using headcount reductions to take costs out of underperforming businesses. This leads us to believe that ArcSight’s product development costs–and thus potentially the quality of its products–are likely to decline following the divestiture.
Online dating services get into matchmaking big leagues
Match.com and Three Day Rule will announce a partnership that gets Match into the high-dollar matchmaking terrain while giving Three Day Rule money to expand and direct marketing to Match members.
Patti Stanger of “The Millionaire Matchmaker” on Bravo Network Television poses in Marina Del Rey, Calif. (Photo: Robert Hanashiro USA TODAY)
Online dating site Match.com is going old school as it pairs with a matchmaking service to capture a dating demographic that wants more attention and is willing to pay for it.
Dallas-based Match.com and Three Day Rule. a personalized matchmaking service based in Los Angeles, will announce on Tuesday a partnership that gets Match into high-dollar matchmaking terrain while giving Three Day Rule money to expand and direct marketing to Match members.
The deal makes Match the second traditional dating site this year to target a segment of daters either disillusioned with online dating or who want to be more discreet. The site eHarmony launched eH+ with its own matchmakers in January.
“They’ve got very significant market shares. Between them, they own the industry, and where do they go from there?” dating industry analyst Mark Brooks says. “They have two problems — a limited number of people left to reach and a limited price point.”
Matchmaking has exploded in the past few years. Reality TV series such as Bravo’s The Millionaire Matchmaker and other copycats have targeted the professional who has plenty of money but not enough time to hunt for a relationship. Matchmakers offer personalized service at a cost.
Traditional dating sites, which have millions of daters, haven’t tried to reach this profitable market until now. One month as a Match member costs about $35; at eHarmony, it’s $59.95. Matchmaking service costs for both are in the thousands. Match.com gets a cut from each customer at Three Day Rule, says Sam Yagan, CEO of the Match Group, which oversees Match.com
Three Day Rule founder Talia Goldstein says Match approached her company last fall. Three Day Rule — whose handful of matchmakers serve New York, Los Angeles, Chicago and San Francisco — plans to add more matchmakers and the cities of Dallas, Boston and Washington by the end of the year.
It offers three months of matchmaking for $3,500 or six months for $5,000, which also includes date coaching and a photo session and stylist.
Janis Spindel. a New York City matchmaker for more than 20 years, says this latest move doesn’t mean these websites can offer the same kind of expertise. For her, that includes criminal background checks, credit checks, matching cultural upbringing and psychological testing if needed.
“I personally meet everyone I match. For every client, I’m with them 2-3 days, if not a week, at their homes learning about them,” she says. “Every woman I match has been interviewed by me.”
Such attention isn’t cheap. Her fees range from $50,000 to $500,000.
Neil Clark Warren, eHarmony’s founder, says his Santa Monica, Calif.-based company’s launch of eH+ offers one matchmaking package at $5,000 a year. He declined to give details about those who have tried the matchmaking services, but he says the three matchmakers on staff are “Ph.D-level psychologists or marriage and family therapists.”
Three Day Rule’s matchmakers have worked as executives at a variety of businesses and left “lucrative jobs” to help others find love, Goldstein says.
“None of us were matchmakers or had gone to matchmaking school, but we were all very educated people doing this. with friends and family,” says Goldstein, a former TV producer who launched her service in 2010.
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Hospital pays hackers $17,000 to unlock EHRs frozen in ‘ransomware’ attack
We’re seeing more and more organizations paying out huge ransoms and they (the criminals) are honing their craft.” Austin Berglas, K2 Intelligence
Hospital pays hackers $17,000 to unlock EHRs frozen in ‘ransomware’ attack
By Joseph Conn | February 17, 2016
(This story was updated on Feb. 18, 2016.)
A Southern California hospital’s computers have been restored after it paid a $17,000 ransom in bitcoins to hackers who infiltrated and disabled its network. The gambit isn’t new, but it appears to be on the rise.
“The quickest and most efficient way to restore our systems and administrative functions was to pay the ransom and obtain the decryption key,” Hollywood Presbyterian Medical Center CEO Allen Stefanek said in letter posted to the hospital’s website late Wednesday. “In the best interest of restoring normal operations, we did this.”
The FBI is investigating the attack, often called ransomware, where hackers encrypt a computer network’s data to hold it “hostage,” providing a digital decryption key to unlock it for a price.
Hospital officials had been fairly tight-lipped in the days since a Los Angeles NBC news affiliate broke the story last Thursday. That report, quoting unnamed hospital employees, said the ransom demand exceeded $3 million to be paid in bitcoin, a digital currency.
The reports of the hospital paying 9,000 bitcoins or $3.4 million are false, Stefanek said in the letter posted Wednesday .
Katherine Keefe, global focus group leader, breach response services, for London-based insurer Beazley, said the company has seen an uptick in ransomware attacks against its clients in the past six to eight months.
Healthcare organizations, along with small businesses and schools, make good targets for ransomware attacks because they don’t typically have the sophisticated backup systems and other resilience measures that are typical at large corporations, said Lillian Ablon, a cybersecurity expert with the RAND Corp. a California think tank.
The smaller ransom amount in the Hollywood Presbyterian case is more in line with customary ransomware demands, according to security experts. The demands typically track with the nuisance value of not having to restore databases and computer systems.
The attacks often don’t make headlines because the victims don’t want to talk about them, said Nicholas Economidis, a Beazley underwriter. If they pay or they don’t pay, it’s an embarrassing incident.
Ransomware attacks are at least a decade old but have become increasingly sophisticated. They often begin with an e-mail attachment opened by an unwitting employee. The e-mail launches malicious code that crawls through the victim’s computer system, encrypting and locking up data folders and the computer’s operating system. The cybercriminals demand payment in return for providing the decryption key.
A lot of this is a crime of opportunity, said Austin Berglas, senior managing director at at K2 Intelligence and head of the firm’s U.S. cyber investigations and incident response practice. Berglas previously headed the FBI’s cyber branch in New York and led the team that broke up the Silk Road and Silk Road 2.0 dark web forums, where drug deals, hacking services and even murder-for-hire schemes were transacted.
You buy or steal a large e-mail list and spam those folks, hoping some unwitting recipient opens one and launches the encrypting malware, Berglas said. Specific recipients such as systems administrators might also be targeted in a technique known as spear phishing, he said.
With any kidnapping and ransom situation, the criminal becomes vulnerable when trying to get paid. Bitcoin, however, provides criminals with a potential window of opportunity to escape and limits law enforcement’s tools to trace and capture them.
Fortunately, in my experience with the FBI, a lot of these criminals will make mistakes along the way, Berglas said.
Security experts have been warning about an uptick in ransomware attacks, said Hussein Syed, chief information security officer at Barnabas Health. Unfortunately, it’s the next big thing everywhere, not just in healthcare, Syed said. But the importance of systems in healthcare is so immense, it’s patient-care issues, in some cases it s a matter of life and death to keep the systems running.
New security-enhancing technologies are arriving every day, Syed said.
One approach is software that scans every incoming e-mail that looks to see if the sender has ever communicated with anyone in the organization before, said Dominic Hart, manager of information security architecture for Barnabas Health. Suspicious e-mails are routed into a sandbox separate from hospital’s main computer systems and the messages and any attachments are detonated that is, opened up and inspected for malware.
There will be some time delay before the user receives the e-mail, Hart said. But if you talk about the choice between a five-minute delay and having a whole hospital go down, that five minutes becomes moot.
#online dating business
The Big Business of Online Dating
Online dating isn’t just about making love connections, it’s about making lots and lots of money.
And as the stigma of meeting a match online falls by the wayside, the industry’s growth is accelerating. Online dating revenues are growing 10 percent to 15 percent per year, on track to hit one point nine billion dollars within three years, according to Piper Jaffray. The pullback in consumer spending hasn’t slowed down the industry at all: if anything it seems to have made Americans more eager to settle down.
The two major players are Match.com, which is owned by Barry Diller’s IAC/Interactive Corp and eHarmony, which is privately held. IAC’s Match sites, which includes Match.com and Chemistry.com generated $343 million in revenue this year, reporting 1.4 million active subscribers, about 15 percent of the market. eHarmony doesn’t disclose its user numbers, but Piper Jaffray’s Gene Munster estimates that its revenues were about $250 million with about 13 percent market share.
eHarmony costs about twice as much as Match.com per month, but eHarmony’s CEO Greg Waldorf explained to me why he believes it’s worth it. eHarmony is responsible for 2 percent of all U.S. marriages. That’s right, 236 eHarmony members get married every day. Waldorf says that the lengthy questionnaire and the price tag weeds out people who aren’t serious, and the algorithm they use to crunch the answers matches customers with compatible life partners.
Match and eHarmony aren’t the only players.
There are the niche sites like JDate.com and Christianmingle.com, which are both owned by Spark Networks.
In addition to Match.com and Chemistry.com IAC owns niche sites Blackpeoplemeet.com, singleparentmeet.com and seniorpeoplemeet.com.
eHarmony s Growth Strategy Friday, 12 Feb 2010 | 11:50 AM ET
All these premium services face competition from free sites like Plentyoffish.com, which is ad supported sites. And then of course there are social networks. Forty one percent of online daters say they also use sites like Facebook to find dates. But so far the explosion of social networking hasn’t proven a threat to paid sites.
Piper Jaffray’s Munster says eHarmony is a natural acquisition target for a company like AOL or Yahoo, or even IAC if Diller wants to make a big push for this market. He says we can also expect some of the larger players to snap up niche sites, as the whole market grows.
Julia Boorstin CNBC Senior Media Entertainment Correspondent
Process big data at speed
There is little question that big data has broken through, not only to the enterprise IT agenda, but also to the public imagination.
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Ovum considers big data to be a problem that requires powerful alternatives beyond traditional SQL database technology.
The attributes of big data include “the three Vs” – volume, variety (structured, along with variably structured data) and velocity. Ovum believes that a fourth V – value – must also be part of the equation.
A variety of platforms have emerged to process big data, including advanced SQL (sometimes called NewSQL) databases that adapt SQL to handle larger volumes of structured data with greater speed, and NoSQL platforms that may range from file systems to document or columnar data stores that typically dispense with the need for modelling data.
Examples of Fast Data applications
- Sensory applications that provide snapshots of phenomena or events from a variety of data points that are aggregated and processed in real time or near real time.
- Stream-processing applications that process high-speed data feeds with embedded, rules-driven logic to either alert people to make decisions, or to trigger automated closed-loop operational responses.
- High-speed, low-latency series of events that, as with stream processing, generate alerts or closed-loop automated response based on embedded rules or business logic, such as high frequency trading (HFT).
- Real-time or near real-time analytics. Real-time transactional or interactive processing applications involving large, multi-terabyte, internet-scale data sets.
Most of the early implementations of big data, especially with NoSQL platforms such as Hadoop, have focused more on volume and variety, with results delivered through batch processing.
Behind the scenes, there is a growing range of use cases that also emphasise speed. Some of them consist of new applications that take advantage not only of powerful back-end data platforms, but also the growth in bandwidth and mobility. Examples include mobile applications such as Waze that harness sensory data from smartphones and GPS devices to provide real-time pictures of traffic conditions.
On the horizon there are opportunities for mobile carriers to track caller behaviour in real time to target ads, location-based services, or otherwise engage their customers, as well as Conversely, existing applications are being made more accurate, responsive and effective as smart sensors add more data points, intelligence and adaptive control.
These are as diverse as optimising supply chain inventories, regulating public utility and infrastructure networks, or providing real-time alerts for homeland security. The list of potential opportunities for fast processing of big data is limited only by the imagination.
Fast data is the subset of big data implementations that require velocity. It enables instant analytics or closed-loop operational support with data that is either not persisted, or is persisted in a manner optimised for instant, ad hoc access. Fast data applications are typically driven by rules or complex logic or algorithms.
Regarding persistence, the data is either processed immediately and is not persisted, such as through extreme low-latency event processing, or it is persisted in an optimised manner. This is typically accomplished with silicon-based flash or memory storage, and is either lightly indexed (to reduce scanning overhead) or not indexed at all. The rationale is that the speed of silicon either eliminates the need for sophisticated indexing, or allows customised data views to be generated dynamically. Connectivity is also critical.
While ultra low-latency messaging links are not mandatory (they are typically only utilised by securities trading firms), optimising connectivity through high-speed internal buses, such as Infiniband, is essential for computation of large blocks of data. Direct links to high-speed wide-area network (WAN) backbones are key for fast data applications digesting data from external sources.
More articles on Big Data
What fast data is not
Fast transaction systems that can be updated interactively but do not automatically close the loop on how an organisation responds to events (for example, the systems are read manually or generate reports) are not considered applications of fast data. Conventional online transaction processing (OLTP) databases are typically designed with some nominal degree of optimisation, such as locating hot (frequently or recently used) data on the most accessible parts of disk (or sharded across multiple disks in a storage array), more elaborate indexes, and/or table designs to reduce the need for joins, and so on. In these cases, the goal is optimising the interactive response for frequent, routine queries or updates. These systems are not, however, designed for processing inordinately large volumes or varieties of data in real time.
Fast Data is not new
Real-time databases are not new. Capital markets firms have long relied on databases capable of ingesting and analysing “tick” data – a task that requires not only speed but the ability to process fairly complex analytics algorithms. Traditionally, these firms have looked to niche suppliers with highly specialised engines that could keep pace and in some cases these platforms have been backed by Kove’s in-memory storage appliance. In-memory data stores have been around for roughly 20 years, but their cost has typically restricted them to highly specialised applications that include: extreme high-value niches such as event streaming systems developed by investment banks for conducting high-speed trading triggered by patterns in real-time capital markets feeds; small footprint subsystems, such as directories of router addresses for embedded networking systems; and deterministic, also known as “hard”, real-time systems based on the need to ensure that the system responds within a specific interval.
These systems often have extremely small footprints, sized in kilobytes or megabytes, and are deployed as embedded controllers, typically as firmware burned into application-specific integrated circuit (ASIC) chips, for applications such as avionics navigation or industrial machine control. The common threads are that real-time systems for messaging, closed-loop analytics and transaction processing have been restricted to specific niches because of their cost and the fact that the amount of memory necessary for many of these applications is fairly modest.
What has changed?
It should sound familiar. The continuing technology price/performance curve, fed by trends such as Moore’s Law for processors, and corollaries for other parts of IT infrastructure, especially in storage, is making fast data technologies and solutions economical for a wider cross-section of use cases.
The declining cost of storage has become the most important inflection point. Silicon-based storage, either flash or memory, has become cheap enough to be deployed with sufficient scale to not only cache input/output (I/O), but also store significant portions of an entire database. Enabling technology has inflated user expectations accordingly.
A recent Jaspersoft big data survey of its customer base provided a snapshot of demand. Business intelligence customers, who have grown increasingly accustomed to near real-time or interactive ad hoc querying and reporting, are carrying their same expectations over to big data. Jaspersoft’s survey revealed that over 60% of respondents have deployed or are planning to deploy big data analytics within 18 months, with nearly 50% expecting results in real time or near real time. Speed is being embraced by mainstream enterprise software players and start-ups alike. Oracle and SAP are commercialising a former niche market of in-memory databases, and Tibco is promoting the ability to deliver a two-second advantage that delivers just enough information in context to make snap decisions based on a combination of messaging, in-memory data grid. rules and event processing systems.
Core SQL platforms are being reinvented to raise limits on speed and scale. For instance, the latest models of Oracle Exadata engineered appliances pack up to 75% more memory, and up to four times more flash memory at similar price points, compared with previous models..
Tony Baer is a research director at Ovum. This is an extract of Ovum’s report What is fast data? Download the full report here
This was last published in February 2013
#dating over 40
Dating Men Over 40: What s the Big Difference?
February 9, 2015 | worldtravelingchic |
I spend a good 45 minutes of my morning, five days a week, on an elliptical machine or stair-climber at my local gym. Usually, there’s a book of some sort blocking my view of how much time I have left because, as you know, watching the time on that clock run down on the “fat burner” cycle is like watching paint dry.
This past week, I ran across a chapter on dating men over 40 in Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others. by John T. Molloy (2003). Since I’m winking at my 40 th birthday, I figured the info was worth checking out. I hadn t considered that there would be much difference in dating men over 40 than dating men under 40, but Molloy s findings proved my ignorance.
Molloy and his team of researchers polled over 2,500 women and their fiancés (of all ages), as well as more than 1,000 single folks to form the basis of their findings. They present information on things like the power of first impressions, online dating, and the stages of relationships.
Here’s what his team had to say about being in relationships with men over 40:
They value acts of kindness. Molloy states that 62 percent of men polled said they “were originally attracted to their fiancée because she was congenial, agreeable, relaxed and easy to get along with” (158). Men in this age bracket respond to your genuine care for the welfare of others – and especially notice the small ways you care for him, in particular. (Ladies, when the flu hits, I’ve learned that a home-delivered care package of homemade soup, a bottle of OJ, vitamin C, Kleenex and cough drops speaks volumes. I don t have to breathe your air to show you I care.) They’re looking for you to show – as well as tell – how much they mean to you.
They are attracted to women who take good care of themselves. Um, duh? I know this is a sore spot with many on the blog but, according to the research, “One of the secrets of marrying when you are over forty is to be trim or athletic” (157). Christelyn s posted over and over again about stats that show that fit women of all ages who pay attention to their appearance are more likely to attract men and marry. I know, I know – beauty is in the eye of the beholder and there are guys out there who love big women, thick women, athletic women, curvy women, etc. Here’s the deal: being trim or athletic comes in all shapes and sizes. Before you get upset with how ridiculous this supposed standard of physical attractiveness seems, keep in mind that most of us would view managing your health, taking care of yourself and putting your best foot forward where your appearance is concerned as attractive.
They’ll want to know that you fit into the life they’ve already built. Men in this age group should be fairly established, so they’re not usually looking to rebuild their life. Instead, they’re trying to determine if the life you’ve built melds easily with theirs. This means he’ll want your social skills, values and priorities to match or exceed his.
Don’t hint at your feelings; tell him. Molloy states that it’s inevitable that most of these men have been through the relationship mill and don’t have time to waste on subtleties – especially if they’ve been married before. (If you’ve been through the mill a few times, you probably get that as well.) The subtle, flirty techniques employed during your 20s and 30s aren’t as effective with this crowd. As your relationship progresses, communication is key and honesty is the best policy.
They may want to talk through serious topics earlier in the relationship rather than later. Molloy posits that the process of getting to know the other person – really getting to know them – moves a bit faster with men in their 40s, 50s and up. Research states it’s because those in this age bracket tend to go on first, second, and third dates where they actually exchange information (168). So, don’t be surprised if topics of monogamy and commitment come up sooner than expected.
They want you to be candid about money matters. Although the topic can be very uncomfortable to talk about and make it seem like he’s more interested in your money than you, at the right time in the relationship, it’s a conversation that needs to happen. Men over 40 want to know what they’re getting into – what debts, assets, and other responsibilities (alimony, child support, etc.) you bring to the table. You should too.
With men over 40, monogamy does not necessarily equal commitment. Molloy reasons that men over 40 don’t usually have the same opportunity to meet available members of the opposite sex as they did in their 20s and 30s. They no longer feel comfortable in the singles scene (bars, parties, etc.), so they tend to slip into monogamy soon after a relationship starts and settle into a comfortable place. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re a priority or that he’s committed to advancing the relationship towards marriage. If you’re marriage-minded, it’s important to verbalize what you want out of the relationship – a marriage proposal within a reasonable period of time – sooner, rather than later. If he has no intention of ever marrying or remarrying, you need to decide up front if you can live with that. It’s better to call it quits six months in than spend years wondering if he’ll ever pop the question.
So, BB W community, what are your thoughts? What observations have you made in dating men over 40? Men in this age range, what s important to you? Do share!
#dating over 40
Five Big Online Dating Profile Mistakes Made by Women over 40
Is your profile withering away online? Is it attracting the interest of couch potatoes, the chronically ill or the guys just looking for a little action? If so, you are likely making at least one of the mistakes commonly made by women over 40 who are using online dating as their new discos. (Really where do you meet men these days?)
Unfortunately, all it takes is one major profile mistake to potentially sabotage any chance of finding love or even a few good dates. Because, let s face it, the odds are not in our favor, ladies. As we get older the man-to-woman ratio moves more and more lopsided. Some statistics show that for every man over 50, there are up to 5 women; over 60, ten women, and so on. Ugh! The days of sitting back and waiting for anything incoming are over. If you want to be noticed and rise to the top, it pays to create the best possible profile and keep it polished and shiny. Because if it doesn’t catch his interest right away, it only takes a single click for him to find one that does.
The good news is that unlike a lot of things in life, your profile is easy to change and update. And once you know how it is inadvertently turning off the men who are looking for a positive, fun connection, it s really not that difficult. Here are the top five profile mistakes common to women over 40, along with specific tips to make your profile more appealing and reflective of the best you.
1) It’s a shopping list. Your profile is your calling card, not a wish list. Once you’ve hit your 40s and beyond, you kind of know what works for you and what doesn t. Many women use their profile as a list of their likes and dislikes. That can be a turn-off. The purpose of your profile is to market you. If you do a good job describing yourself and painting a picture of what it feels like to be in a relationship with you, it will attract the right men and repel the wrong ones. So focus more on what you have to offer, and less on what they can do for you. I guarantee you ll see the immediate payoff in the quality of men you attract.
2) It’s too needy. Here are some statements I see every day in women s profiles: I’ve waited so long for the right relationship and I hope it’s finally my time. I’m ready to be his everything. I’m looking for a relationship where we are totally devoted to each other. While some of this may be true for you, it’s not something to put in a profile. The man reads this as you having incredibly high expectations and reliance on your relationship for your happiness. Remember, he doesn’t even know you. If you wouldn’t say it on your first date, don’t write it in your profile.
3) It’s not needy enough. Women in their 40s, 50s and beyond are particularly guilty of this. After all, you’ve probably accomplished a lot in your life without a man and are prepared to continue doing so. Be careful not to sound like there is no room in your life for a relationship. It often goes something like this: “I spend my days as a busy lawyer and my evenings teaching courses at the local college. Many weekends are spent training for my next marathon and singing in my church choir.” Whew! You can go on to say that you look forward to a relationship, but really where can a man possibly see time for himself in that picture? Also, avoid these statements: “I don’t need a man, but it would be nice to have one in my life.” Or, “I’ve been fine all these years without a man but I ll make room for the right one .” Men, just like women, don’t want to feel like an accessory in someone else’s life. They especially need to feel needed and like an important contributor to your life. If you make it sound like you can take it or leave it, they are likely to help you leave it.
4) It’s too boring. “I love spending time with my friends, volunteering and reading novels.” When a man reads this his eyes glaze over and he moves on to the next profile. It’s too generic, common and, frankly says nothing about you that s interesting. Instead, be more specific and paint a picture for him. Such as, “A great evening for me is trying out the newest ethnic food restaurant with a few good friends and disagreeing about the controversial exhibit at the art museum.” Or, “Sunday mornings you’ll find me at the SPCA walking dogs and then off to my favorite breakfast joint for their fresh brewed coffee and chile relleno. I like mine extra spicy. (Okay, doesn t hurt to flirt a little.)
5) You sound like a Debbie Downer. Does your profile sound like someone who likes to have a good time? Don’t be negative or too serious. “I’ve tried online dating before and it didn’t work, but I’m trying it again.” Or “I’ve had a lot of challenges and hardships over the last 20 years and now I’m ready for a change.” Or “I’ve devoted my life to my children and caring for my elderly parents now it s my turn.” Again, this all may be true, but it s important to let your prospective match know that spending time with you will be enjoyable otherwise why would they want to contact you? When was the last time you read a man s profile and thought Wow, he sounds like he really needs me to cheer him up I definitely want to meet him! Spend your initial time letting him know how you relax and enjoy yourself and how being with you will add positively to both of your lives. You can roll out the “heavy” information as you get to know each other.
As a Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40. I’ve seen (and done) it all when it comes to online dating. I’ve seen how rewriting a profile, making it more positive, more aspirational, and less demanding can help the right guys find their way to your inbox. I ve also seen how it creates love connections. My husband and I met and married when I was 47 and I m now spending the happiest years of my life. Let me know how it goes for you!
Bobbi invites you to join her Grownup Girls Night Out! Every month she supports you with a different topic about dating, relationships. intimacy and more exclusively for women over 40. Learn how to attract smart, interesting, relationship-minded men that are RIGHT for you. You can register here for free.