The Do s and Don ts Of Texting In Relationships #internet #dating #services


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The Do’s and Don’ts of Texting In Relationships

Updated May 31, 2016.

To help women and guys use texting to their advantage, Nicole Beland, features director of Women’s Health magazine and relationship expert, offers the following tips on improving your text life.

Texting Don’ts

Don’t guess. If a message is cryptic or vague, wait until you’re face to face with the sender to ask what the heck they were talking about. Texts leave so much to the imagination that it’s easy to let wishful thinking or insecurity take over.

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When you get a message that makes no sense, respond with “What. Let’s talk l8tr!” Then stifle your urge to analyze.

Don’t over-abbreviate. You want to be brief in a text message, but stick with terms and symbols that most people know and use. If you try to make up new texting terms on the spot, you’ll end up sending gibberish.

Don’t be a tease. Text-flirting is all fun and games—provided that you’re being honest about your feelings. Verbal flirting is such a blast that it’s easy to get carried away.

Over-do the Sex the City style banter and you run the risk raising someone’s expectations only to hurt his or her feelings or, worse, attract an unwanted admirer.

Don’t text angry. Sure, you can express general frustration with a ‘Grrrr…” or a “Humph” or an “Ugh,” but pick up the phone to hash things out. Attempt to resolve a volatile situation in 25-character bursts and you’ll create a hot mess that will be hell to clean up.

Don’t be rude or break bad news. Breaking up via text may be efficient, but it isn’t classy—and in a hyper-connected culture, a bad reputation can spread fast.

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Any type of textual bad behavior is likely to get around.

Texting Do’s

Do text sweet nothings. With today’s crazed schedules, it can be hard to pick up the phone or even send an email. A short text like “Hey, qt,” or “Hope ur havin a gr8 day, ” can make your significant other suddenly happier to see you when you get home. 52% of texters surveyed said they’d rather receive a “Thinking of You” message than any other kind.

Do text long-distance. According to the AT T survey, 15% of daters in long-distance relationships send texts more often than they email or call. Texting can create a surprising sense of connection because it’s so immediate—you can send messages the second they pop into your mind. Even though you’re miles away, your partner feels right there.

Do text before a first date . 34% of people surveyed agree that they’d feel more comfortable on a first date if they had exchanged texts beforehand. Keep pre-date communication light and fun. Ask about his or her favorite bands, movies, and places to hang out, then use the info to kickstart conversation when you’re sitting across the table.

Do respond ASAP. Most people are never far from their cell phone. so if you don’t reply within an hour or so, the other person will assume they’re being ignored. As a matter of fact, the biggest texting turn-off according to the AT T survey was a slow response. If you don’t have time to answer, reply with something like “Stuck in mtg. Will hit you soon!” If you can’t even do that, be sure to add “Sorry! Just got this,” when you finally do text him or her back.


The Dos and Don – ts of Cell Phone Dating Etiquette #best #free #online #dating


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The Dos and Don ts of Cell Phone Dating Etiquette

Wouldn t it be a shame if a promising relationship ended over bad texting etiquette? Dating expert and CEO of Dating with Dignity. Marni Battista, shares some basic tips for cell phone use while dating simple, but so important!

While the cell phone has become the perfect tool for some in today’s modern dating world, it’s become the worst of enemies for others. What’s a person to do without knowing the proper cell phone etiquette for dating?!

For starters, here’s a list of dos and don’ts to make sure you don’t cause him/her to run for the hills or, worse yet, never even get a chance to know how fabulous you truly are.

For men, especially, sending a “How are you?” text once you’re past the early stages of dating is always nice. It can also be great in a relationship to send a quick note letting your guy or girl know you’re thinking about them once it’s established that there is mutual interest (provided you aren’t only going into date number two).

Men who pick up the phone to call a girl once in awhile is a big plus. To ensure you the best chance of standing apart from the crowd, regardless of your bank account or the car you drive, following up after a nice date with “I’ll shoot you a text or something” is not the most romantic thing we’ve heard. If we are interested, “I’ll give you a call” and actually doing it jets you to the top of the list in our book.

Texting is appropriate when you’re setting the time for your plan, making the plan itself, or even confirming a date the day before. Mastering the art of the perfect text can take some time, but with practice you’ll be on your way.

**Both men and women must avoid sending any texts that are longer than one-half inch in length (the length of the top of your thumb).**

Both men and women should avoid playing “hard to get,” mostly because it won’t work if you’re interested in dating someone who is emotionally mature. Look, everyone knows that most people in 2013 keep their phones close. If you’re at work and don’t have time to respond right away, a polite way to let someone know is to simply let them know you’re at work and you’ll respond when you have a moment. Waiting an hour to write back isn’t very nice or productive.

Texting lengthy thoughts about your feelings is a no-go. The real rule here is if it’s longer than half your thumb, it’s TOO LONG. Save conversations that require multiple sentences for an in-person conversation. It’s too easy to misinterpret the tone of your voice from both sides, and it will probably go better if it comes out the way you meant it to!

Patience is a virtue. Get virtuous! In the same way you would want someone to be patient with you if you were busy, let the party on the other end of the phone answer when ready. Multiple texts followed by question marks or constant calling without a response is guaranteed to send you to Lonelytown, population 1. Give someone a little space before freaking out on them, and let them come to you!

Answering your phone, checking your email, taking pictures of your entree for Instagram, taking selfies and/or pics of you and him to put on Facebook on the second date and tweeting your pals about how hot he is are all a NO while on a date.

A good guideline for phone etiquette while on dates is to pretend you’re in a movie theatre. Phone in bag? Check. Phone on silent? Check. Not checking it during the movie for fear you’ll bother people near you or miss something important? Check. Being present while on a date is much more fulfilling than constantly checking for Twitter updates or emails you didn’t really care about anyway. So unless you want your date to turn into a horror film, keep it on the rom-com track and leave your phone in your purse or pocket.

These dos and don’ts for cell phone dating etiquette will more than adequately prepare you for making your dating life and mastery of cell phone etiquette both incredible.

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Dating Etiquette – The Do – s and Don – t of Modern Dating #free #dating #sites #for #women


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Dating Etiquette

Dating in today’s world can be very stressful. With the expectations constantly changing, it can be difficult to keep up. People should be able to enjoy the other person’s company without having to worry about how their every action will be interpreted. This article is intended to answer the most common questions of modern-day daters and provide the advice necessary to master today’s standards of dating etiquette.

The Conversation

The heart of dating lies in the conversation. Quality conversation requires more than just interesting topics, and extends to how you discuss these topics. Maintain eye contact, but don’t stare. Avoid any crude or profane language. You want your date to feel comfortable talking to you at all times. Along these same lines, do not be discouraged by moments of silence. These are much better than forced conversation and can be used to collect your thoughts.

Much of a date is getting to know the other person, so be sure to ask questions. The key is to inquire without interrogating. Ask questions, but do not question your date about their answers. Similarly, do not monopolize the conversation. Nothing turns a man off more than getting cut off or not being able to get a word in.

Listen

The three L’s of dating: listen, listen, listen! Take a genuine interest in what your date says. Show the other person you know them better after the date than you did before. Not only will this be appreciated, but true chemistry absolutely depends on it. Whether or not you feel a connection, the other person should be your number one priority throughout the entire date. This concept also applies to cell phones; do not answer any calls or texts on your date. Nothing is so important it cannot wait until the date is over. If there is an emergency that requires your attention, explain to your date who it is and why you must take it so they understand.

Who Pays?

The issue of who should pay on the date has created a lot of confusion over the years. This is a very gray topic, but some general rules of thumb can be followed. Men have always been expected to pay in the past, but the rules have changed as women strive for equality. Classic chivalry is by no means an antiquated notion, but today it is good practice that whoever asked the other out should pay. Furthermore, if a woman finds she has no romantic interest in the other person she should offer to pay for her portion.

The problem lies in the perception we create. If a woman ignores the bill altogether, she may give off a false sense of entitlement which could upset the man. On the other hand, a woman who tries to pay the bill could appear pushy or overly feministic. Unfortunately, no two people are alike and everyone has different expectations when it comes to who pays on a date.

One good approach is to bring the topic up after the first or second date. If the man has been paying, he could indicate his fear of being too presumptuous and domineering by automatically paying every bill. A woman could explain that she appreciates the man’s desire to treat her, but it is important to her to also contribute. No matter what your situation, don’t expect or demand anything. Remember that your date’s actions are probably the result of a lot of nervous deliberation and should not necessarily be taken too seriously; give them the benefit of the doubt.

Dinner Date Etiquette

Dinner dates have their own rules for dating etiquette. Popular dating website Match.com teamed up with Today.com to survey singles and discover the dating do’s and don’ts for dining. The four most popular responses are listed below.

  • Do not order for your date (67%).
  • Be willing to try new foods (66%).
  • Do not ask to split the check (62%).
  • Never flirt with the staff (87%, the number one turnoff according to the dinner dating etiquette survey).

Drinking on the Date

We hope not drinking too much on your date is common sense, but some additional dating etiquette should also be followed.

Men: Never push your date to drink more than she can handle, or push additional drinks onto her. If your date has to be drunk to like you, it might be time to go back to the drawing board.

Women: Don’t attempt to go drink-for-drink with a man, or ever feel pressure to keep the same pace. It is not a chauvinistic stereotype; women are biologically unable to metabolize alcohol as well as men and thus feel the effects to a greater extent.

It is also a good idea for men not to exceed their female date’s alcohol intake, a concept supported by the survey mentioned above. In fact, 70% of women were turned off by dates who drink more than them. The flipside is that 23% of men surveyed said that women who don’t order any alcohol at all are a turnoff.

Be On Time

Always be on time, or early if at all possible. A late arrival may imply that you had better things to do than honor the scheduled time of your date. At the very least, tardiness is impolite and could be a sign that you may have commitment issues; if you can’t commit to being on time, how will you commit to the person?

Keep an Open Mind

One of the most important pieces of advice is to maintain an open mindset when dating. Very few dates go perfectly, and you should not let a minor problem ruin the entire date. Try to give the other person the benefit of the doubt. If you still do not like them when it’s over, you never have to see that person again. Keeping an open mind will make the entire experience more positive.

Final Word

Dating etiquette is constantly evolving. The information above provides a good overview of today’s standards, and many of the concepts outlined are timeless principles that should always be followed. The general notion of dating etiquette focuses on being polite and courteous. Just be yourself and treat your date with respect; the rest will come naturally.


7 Do s and Don t s of Modern Day Dating Etiquette #gratis #dating


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7 Do s and Don t s of Modern Day Dating Etiquette

With the arrival of new technology all the time, the rules for social interaction have changed. Are you up to speed with today’s dating etiquette?

In Jane Austen s Pride and Prejudice. eighteenth-century men and women courted each other by attending balls and writing letters. Today, men and women court each other by signing up for match.com and sending text messages. One of the main obstacles in Pride and Prejudice is that Mr. Darcy has too much pride to express any of his feelings to Elizabeth Bennet. Elizabeth faced this conflict without text messaging, television, and the computer to contend with. Just imagine if Mr. Darcy had tried expressing his feelings in a text message (and no, I m not suggesting a modern-day update to this classic). The romanticism in a text message would have been lost, sending Elizabeth into the arms of (gasp!) Mr. Collins.

Nowadays, technology is aiding in the demise of many relationships before they even get started. Because the cell phone, computer, and other electronics are such a big part of people s lives, they become a big part of the dating scheme. People have become so dependent on technology that they don t know how to communicate with prospective dates other than through the cold touch of a keyboard. Because there is no formality with dating anymore, men and women are treating any outing with a potential significant other with the same casualness they would use on a friend.

While we may never be able to get back to the exact romanticism of yesteryear, we can at least try to make dating a little more special.

Here are 7 do s and don t s of modern-day dating:

Do Not High Five or Fist Pound Someone on a Date

The film When Harry met Sally claimed that men and women can never really be friends because the sex part always gets in the way. This new high five technique with casual dating has made it so that the sex part will never really come into play at all. While it could be said that maybe a guy isn t all that interested if he gives a girl a high five at the end of the date, I have known for a fact of guys using this technique when they did hope to woo the girl. If a guy is out with a girl and wants to show her how he feels, a high five is not the way to go. Even if you aren t ready for a kiss, do not high five a girl. Simply say, This has been great. Let s do it again, and leave it at that.

A high five from a guy could result in a slap in a face from a girl, or worse, no second date to redeem yourself.

Do Not Breakup via a Text Message

If you ve been going out with someone for at least a couple of dates, you owe them a phone call. The text message is the coldest form of communication because it says, I m too much of a coward to dial seven numbers and listen to your voice. I d much rather send it in the form of broken sentences with U and 2 instead of actual words. I ve known of a broken engagement ending this way, as well as a month-long romance. Either way, not cool.

Alcohol is Not Progress; It s Just Alcohol

If someone says I love you while intoxicated, it s not necessarily something to take seriously. This same person who says I love you while intoxicated, might also urinate against the side of a building on a dare moments later.

Don t Express Feelings Over the Internet or Through a Text Message

How are men and women supposed to know each other s intentions when words are sprawled across a computer screen without any emotional impact? The Internet utilizes phrases like lol for Laughing Out Loud, but do they have a phrase for This is actually a heartfelt message. ? Plus, how romantic is it to receive a first I love you through a text message? (If you couldn t tell by the tone of my font, I was being sarcastic).

An Unreturned Text Doesn t Necessarily Mean You re Unwanted

People have lives. They aren t sitting there, waiting for your text. If you are sitting around waiting for texts, maybe you should get a new hobby, exercise, something.

A Gift Card Can Go a Long Way. in Hell

Unless a significant other actually requests one, gift cards are not a romantic gift. Yes, they re an easy out when you can t think of what to buy, but anyone can purchase a gift card. Mostly, people receive them from relative strangers as a way to say Thank You or Merry Christmas, Principal Williams. If you d give a gift card to your local Schwann Man, you might want to rethink giving one to a significant other, or at least someone you want to show how much you care about. On the other hand, if you re trying to get out of a relationship, I would highly recommend said purchase.

Don t Rush

In Jane Austen s time, everything was a production (after all, they had a lot of time on their hands). Letters took days to be sent. Balls were highly anticipated. In the novels, it takes people years before they even kiss one another. Take relish in the little things and savor everything that goes along the way (whether it be the pain, suffering, or glee of it all). Don t push things too much; let your story unfold on its own.

Megan McLachlan currently resides in the Pittsburgh area where she freelance writes, drinks coffee, and obsesses over popular culture. She was an English major, but doesn’t think she wasted her life. Yet. Her blog is megoblog.com .

I m really impressed with the content you provided. It s really helpful for me and I m sure for others as well. Keep it up.

I completely agree with the do not High Five or Fist Pound on a date. A man I have been seeing for a few years and I were out at a tavern for the first part of the evening where he proceeded to High Five a mutual female friend of ours. Later that evening after what I considered to be a very passionate revelation he gave me a High Five. I was completely distraught and although I did not, I thought a slap in the face would have been an appropriate response because that was more or less what he had given me.

This article lists only don ts which tells me you have written this with mostly bad dates n mind, and with few (if any) good dates in mind. Which tells me that you are likely a bad dater (many bad dates, likely with different people each time making the common element in those bad dates you ) which tells me not to take your advice and only ever text, high five, buy gift cards, get drunk to confess love, and rush things. Dating success, here I come.


6 Ways To Meet Girls In College That Don – t Involve A Dating App – BroBible #christian #dating #service


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6 Ways To Meet Girls In College That Don t Involve A Dating App

Why would you want to approach a girl in real life / How would you go about it

There are two ways to meet girls in college.

There’s the old-fashioned method of introducing yourself to girls you meet through classes or mutual friend groups, and then there’s apps like Tinder, where you can sit in the comfort of your dorm room and swipe endlessly, hoping against hope that you’ll swipe right to someone who is both hot and also doesn’t totally suck.

So, given that your friend group is probably all but tapped out in terms of girls you would want to bang (or date, if that’s what you want), your options are Tinder, or risking your pride by saying “hi” to a good looking stranger. But knowing that a strange girl could potentially stab your pride with the knife of rejection, why would you even try since you know you can open an app which does essentially the same thing?

Because girls love it when they meet a guy with interests in common—even if you’re just looking to hook up, it will make the mandatory post-sex cuddle that much less awkward. If you’re both in a class together, or you play the same sport (IM, club, or pick up), or you both joined the same club, it makes sense to reach out to her and try and get to know her! Copping out because you’re nervous she’ll shut you down is a complete waste of time—at least half of the reason we are in college is to talk to people and develop social skills so we can be functioning adults, so relying on Tinder and on your roommate’s girlfriend to set you up are steps one and two to being That Guy Who Can’t Talk To Women.

Unfortunately, I can’t provide you with an encyclopedic list of Exactly Where To Talk To A Girl And What To Say, because there’s no “right” or “wrong” way to talk to a girl, but I can try to give you some advice for where to start:

At The Beginning Of Class/After Class .

It’s not weird to sit next a pretty girl in class if there’s an empty seat and say hi, or to talk to her as she is packing up her stuff. Don’t screw this up by being like, “you’re hot and that’s why I sat here” or by sitting next to her when there are 100 other empty seats. Instead, comment on the reading, or ask her if she’s also a ____ major. Those are perfectly good questions to get to know someone. If you’re in the same class, you probably have similar interests—you can’t ask for a much better foundation than that.

Introduce yourself to that pretty girl on the IM Frisbee team. If you saw her make a great goal/point/whatever, mention it to her. Compliments are great openers, and it’s a way to say, “I noticed you” while not saying “I stared at you the whole time.”

Take A Gym Class

Yoga or spinning are simply great workouts, plus they’re always full of pretty girls. First, you’ll stand out because you’ll be in the strong minority in the dudes-to-chicks ratio, plus there’s always plenty of time after the workout when everyone is pulling on their coats/sweats to say hi and make a joke about how you could only hold crow-pose for like 3 seconds.

I’ve had so many conversations with friends about how clubs/activities related to service to the community are always frantically recruiting dudes because for some reason they often don’t apply or participate. In the health education group I intern for at UVA, we shove flyers in boys’ faces between classes urging them to apply (“there are free condoms!”). Trust me on this, even if the rest of your friends aren’t into building houses for poor people or taking a service trip over spring break, they’ll be eating their words when you find yourself surrounded by cute, friendly babes sweating in the sun hammering homes together.

Open Mic Nights

Poetry isn’t just for ladies! One of the best spoken word poets I know slays every week at a local open mic night and oh by the way he’s a dude. You don’t even have to read anything! Just show up, introduce yourself, and meet interesting English majors who will, in all likelihood, be super friendly and really interested in talking about that indie group you looked up on Spotify 30 minutes before showing up.

Through the wonders of degrees of separation, it is incredibly likely some of your friends are friends with hot girls you have not yet met. Yes—it really can be that simple. If you see them sitting together at the Student Union, or on a bench between classes, go up and introduce yourself! I find that when I shake hands with friends of friends they look at me all surprised, like, “I’m not used to being noticed.” Don’t be that guy—pull together the ounce of courage you managed to hold on after high school and just say hello! I promise, you can do it, and no, the Earth will not explode.

I want a dollar for every missed opportunity I have screwed up because I was too shy to say something. Perfect example: I matched with a kid I had a gym class with on Tinder two semester later, and he was like, “Yeah I thought you were like so cute,” and I was like, well fuck—this would have gone a lot better if I hadn’t been such a coward and actually tried to talk to him during class.

So get out there and say, “Hi, how’s it going?” You can thank me when she says “Hi” back.


30 Free Date Ideas That (Actually) Don – t Suck #men #seeking


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30 Free Date Ideas That (Actually) Don t Suck

Photo: STYLECASTER/Getty Images

Dating can be a lot of things: exciting, fun, nerve-wracking and also pretty expensive. Getting rid of the pre-date jitters is easier said then done, but solving the pricey problem is definitely doable. From hiking to hosting an at-home movie marathons, great dates don t have to cost a fortune—or anything at all.

Here, our 30 top free date ideas that aren t totally lame.

1. Go on a hike.

Head to the closest trail and go on a hiking date. If you and your date happen to be morning people, make it a sunrise hike—you ll get some killer Instagram shots.

2. Pick a random neighborhood and head off to explore.

Be a tourist in your own city! Take the subway or bus, get off at a random stop you are unfamiliar with, and explore. It’ll feel great to spend a day with no inhibitions and hey, the date practically plans itself!

3. Find a free concert.

No matter where you live, there’s usually a good, free summer concert going on. Plan a date around it, and soak in both the music and the summer rays.

4. Seek out a food market with lots of free samples.

Feeling hungry but don’t want to splurge on a restaurant date? Head over to a local food market or food festival with your date and snack on some delicious samples.

5. Try geocaching.

This modern-day real-world treasure hunt is the perfect adventure. Visit geocaching .com to begin your active escapade. Who knows what you’ll find!

MORE: 40 First Date Questions That are Foolproof

6. Plan a game night.

This is the perfect group date activity. Split up into teams and let the dice (and the good times) roll. A little tip to make it extra fun and a little saucy? Cards Against Humanity is always a hit!

7. Spend a night at the museum.

Look online for times that local museums offer free admission (it s usually in the evening) and roam around with that special someone.

8. Make it a beach day.

Take a dip, make a sandcastle, play a game of beach volleyball, or just totally chill out together while soaking up some sun this summer.

9. Go roller skating.

Strap on some roller skates and roll around town or a nearby park with your date. In the winter you can swap out the roller skates and go ice skating at a park rink.

10. Build a Slip ‘N Slide.

Set up a Slip ‘N Slide in your backyard. Not only is this silly date a sure-fire hit, but it s refreshing way for the two of you to cool off in the summer heat.

MORE: Your Ultimate Relationship Advice Cheat Sheet

11. Volunteer together.

Whether you want to play with the puppies at an animal shelter or help out at a soup kitchen, volunteering with your date is not only super fulfilling, but you’ll make some awesome memories in the process.

12. Have a movie marathon.

Pop some popcorn, cuddle up together on the couch, and start up a movie marathon, a.k.a. Netflix and chill. Take turns watching picking what to watch.

13. Get dressed up and go to expensive open houses.

Toss on a cocktail dress, grab a tie, and become whoever you’d like to be for the day! Check local listings of open houses and take a look around a dream home that you and your date could never afford. Tip: Walk in like you own the place (just don t get carried away and try to actually own the place).

14. Go camping in your backyard.

Pitch a tent in the backyard for the night. Make a bonfire, roast a marshmallow (or two, or three) and end off the evening with some stargazing—there’s nothing more romantic than that!

15. Play a messy game of Twister.

Take it to the backyard and play game of messy Twister. The same rules apply, but put coordinated paint colors on the Twister circles and let the games begin!

16. Find a movie screening in the park.

This is the classic dinner and a movie date with a (free) twist! Instead of heading out to a pricey restaurant, plan a picnic followed by a free movie screening in the park. It will be way more romantic than a stuffy movie theater, anyway.

17. Go to a local basketball court and shoot some hoops.

There’s nothing better than letting your competitive spirit out now and then, so head to the local basketball court and challenge that special someone to a one-on-one showdown.

18. Download a karaoke app

Whether you sound like Beyoncé or William Hung from American Idol, karaoke is always a great way to loosen up and have some fun! A no-cost way to do it: Troll the app store for free apps you can download and sing along to.

19. Host an at-home poker night.

Can you keep a poker face? Find out by playing a game of poker with your date, waging with anything other than money.

20. Test drive your dream car.

Rev up the car and the relationship by getting behind the wheel and test driving your dream car with your date.

MORE: 7 Easy Ways to Avoid Gaining Relationship Weight

21. Go on a free brewery tour.

Many brewery tours are free, so take advantage of this when planning a date. If beer isn’t your thing many wineries offer free tours as well.

22. Go to a trivia night at a bar.

There’s nothing more attractive than intelligence! Channel your inner nerd and impress your date at a local trivia night. Hopefully they’ll impress you too!

23. Play truth or dare.

Revisit the infamous childhood game of Truth or Dare by walking around town taking turns asking each other the age-old question. You’ll learn tons about each other and have a total blast!

24. Get together and share old embarrassing photos.

Headgear, frizzy hair, and some freaky looking sweaters? Check! Collect some old photos, be it baby photos or high school grad pics, and share them with your date. Not only will it provide some good laughs but it will keep the conversation flowing.

25. Have an old-school video game showdown.

Dust off the old controllers and turn on that Nintendo 64! Be Mario, Princess Peach, or Toad for the night and have an old school face-off playing Mario Kart, Mario Party and all of the classics.

26. Have an Instagram date.

Juice up your phones and head out and about on any one of these 30 dates, and then see where the day takes you based on what you see that s most grammable. You might find yourselves drawn to a park you never noticed before, or a gritty part of the city where the graffiti is super-photogenic. Take tons of selfies so that you have your own Instagram trail of the date.

27. Go on a scenic landmark crawl.

Be a tourist in your own city, but only hit up landmarks that don t charge an entrance fee, like statues, museums, or other places that you d go if you were only in town for a day.

28. Weather allowing, go for a swim.

If it s summertime, hit up a public pool, lake, or ocean and sunbathe and swim with your S.O.

29. Spend an afternoon or evening wandering art galleries.

Check out local and up-and-coming artists on display at galleries in your area. You re not there to shop, but you might spot your new favorite talent. Also, if you go at the right time, some galleries will offer snacks or free drinks to people wandering in and out, so Google first to see if there s a good time to go.

30. Give each other massages.

Light some candles, break out the lotion or oil, and give each other a nice long back-rub. You ll both get a chance to unwind (while knowing that you re not on the clock and paying for every minute of enjoyment), plus, who knows where it will lead.

MORE: 8 Signs You Need a Dating Break


Single Over 40? The Best Asset You Don – t Know You Have #meet #single #women


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Single Over 40? The Best Asset You Don t Know You Have

What s different about your dating landscape at 40 than it was 20 years ago? Everything. But many women still follow the good old strategy that says they just need to look good, play the dating game, and meet as many new people as possible. Sooner or later, they ll find a partner good enough to settle for. Common sense, right? Wrong.

Back in your 20s, you were exploring. You didn t know what to expect, and you didn t know what you needed. Your main dating strategy was trial and error, and your deepest desire was that all men fall in love with you at first sight.

Over the years, failed relationships left their marks on your mindset. You may have gotten hurt; you may have become disappointed; you may have lost faith that you will ever find the one and settled with a notion that you are destined to be alone.

You likely fall into one of two camps:

Camp 1. You became comfortable, convinced yourself that you are not the marrying kind, that you are self-sufficient and don t need anybody. In an attempt to protect you from pain your mind created various false beliefs and excuses, such as all the good ones are taken, I don t want to give up my freedom, I don t have time for a relationship right now, and “I don t see anyone who would match my standards.”

Camp 2. You are actively dating trying to find the one, but every time something goes wrong. You seem to be attracting the same man in a different body over and over again. You give a lot and get very little in return. Every time you get hurt, your suspicion that it will never work becomes stronger. You are secretly thinking about giving up and joining Camp 1.

The reality is finding your ideal partner takes strategy. There are things you need to do, hurdles you need to go through in order to create love in your life.

You know it took strategy and persistence to build a career or a business. Why do you assume that a great relationship will just happen by itself? The strategy to attract your ideal relationship is not a cat-and-mouse dating game that everyone says you should play. (Socializing more is not a strategy either.)

In order to change your old relationship patterns you need to make a change deep within yourself, to shift your core beliefs and align yourself mentally, emotionally and spiritually with the reality of having an entirely different person in your life — different from the kind you were attracting in the past. You should also prepare yourself for being with that person.

You now have something extremely valuable, something you did not have in your 20s — experiential understanding of yourself, your needs, and, most importantly, of the fact that you create your own reality .There is something within you that attracts your negative relationship experiences. It may be fear of intimacy created by past traumas; or lack of self-worth that is tracing its roots to your childhood; there are various inner issues that could be standing in your way.

One thing is certain; unless you become aware of these blocks and consciously dissolve them, you will be stuck in a vicious circle of negative relationship patterns, no matter how many pounds you lose or how many new people you meet.

You now have the level of awareness that makes this transformation possible. The biggest mistake you can make in your pursuit of an ideal relationship is to ignore the need for transformation and to rely on pure luck.

The good news is that you don’t need to give up who you are in order to find a soulmate. On the contrary, letting go of your limiting past conditioning will help you bring out your authentic self and attract a partner who is uniquely right and perfect for you .

Soulmate love is your birthright. Take your life experience and willingness to change, and with some guidance you will be able to create the amazing love life that you have always dreamed of.

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Online dating services don t work, scientists say – CBS News #russian #women #dating


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Online dating services don’t work, scientists say

(CBS) – Scientists want you to think twice before doubling down on online dating services.

A new study published in the upcoming issue of Psychological Science in the Public Interest is shedding light on the science – or lack thereof – behind online dating services. The psychological scientists who wrote the report hope to indentify how online dating might be hurting singles.

Co-written by Eli J. Finkel (Northwestern University), Paul W. Eastwick (Texas A M University), Benjamin R. Karney (UCLA), Harry T. Reis (University of Rochester), and Susan Sprecher (Illinois State University), the report reviews over 400 psychology studies and surveys.

So, what’s the problem?

Scientists worry that dating sites claim to use exclusive “matching algorithms,” which may be nothing more than a guessing game.

“To date, there is no compelling evidence that any online dating matching algorithm actually works,” Finkel said in a press release.

“If dating sites want to claim that their matching algorithm is scientifically valid, they need to adhere to the standards of science, which is something they have uniformly failed to do. In fact, our report concludes that it is unlikely that their algorithms can work, even in principle, given the limitations of the sorts of matching procedures that these sites use.”

Examples of mysterious algorithms include that of eHarmony’s – after a long questionnaire, the site sets you up on dates. You don’t actually get to chose. OkCupid has a formula that matches people based on specific lifestyle questions. Chemistry matches people based on their personality type.

“Developers of matching algorithms have tended to focus on the information that is easy for them to assess, like similarity in personality and attitudes, rather than the information that relationship science has found to be crucial for predicting long-term relationship well-being. As a result, these algorithms are unlikely to be effective,” said Finkel.

Is there really an algorithm for love, though? For as long as dating and relationships have existed, we’ve been trying to figure out a magic formula for love. Spoiler alert: It doesn’t exist.

Shopping market of love

The scientists acknowledge that dating sites have their benefits – mainly, it enables singles to meet people quickly. But, going through so many online profiles may “overwhelm” daters. The researchers worry that searching for potential mates start to resemble shopping.

“For years, the online dating industry has ignored actual relationship science in favor of unsubstantiated claims and buzzwords, like ‘matching algorithms,’ that merely sound scientific,” Finkel said.

There’s no denying that online dating is here to stay. The business of matchmaking 2.0 is estimated to be worth $2.1 billion dollars. It’s such a popular way for singles to meet that it only comes in second, after introductions through friends.

While the evidence is damning, it won’t stop people from signing on to hook up. There is definitely an audience for quick access to hundreds of people online. Perhaps it’s not the most effective way to meet your soul mate, but it is efficient for scooping up a dinner date.

Perhaps a meeting in the middle simply means a basic report card. In the report, Arthur Aron, psychological scientist at the State University of New York at Stony Brook suggests creating a panel to “grade the credibility” of dating sites.

Top 10 most promiscuous cities in the U.S.

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Dating Secrets: Body Language Do s and Don ts, How to Tell If He s Interested – ABC News #photo #dating


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Most singles know the basics of what works and what doesn’t when it comes to attracting members of the opposite sex. But could scoring that second date really lie in the blink of an eye, the subtle positioning of hands in a pocket or the flip of the hair?

The answer from body language expert Tonya Reiman is a resounding yes. Reiman, the author of a new book, ” The Body Language of Dating ,” says we send out subtle signals all the time without knowing it, and those nonverbal signs are stronger than any pickup line.

“It could be as simple as looking down and then suddenly looking up. … Maybe we’ll hold a glass in a way that kind of looks somewhat sexual. … Those are signals,” she told ” Good Morning Americ a.” “I don’t necessarily have to be a 10 appearance-wise, but if I can be a 10 confidence-wise and send out those signals that say, ‘I’m interested in you,’ you’re much more likely to say, ‘Hey, I like you! I don’t know why I like you, but I like you!”

“Good Morning America’s” Cameron Mathison sent two brave female volunteers out to a New York City bar to see firsthand what works and what doesn’t in today’s dating world. Reiman analyzed their body language from the hidden cameras and gave us her tried-and-true do’s and don’ts for single women to keep in mind, plus what women should look for in a man’s body language to gauge how interested he is.

  • Be self-aware. It’s the No. 1 most important fact to know what signals you are sending.
  • Smile. It’s infectious.
  • Hair flipping or primping is a known turn on. “We might be playing with our hair, but we’re really saying, look at me. Those are the little signals that hit off on a man’s paternal instincts,” she explained to “GMA.”
  • Be more open.
  • Be engaged.
  • Stand tall and hold your head high.
  • Look your interest in the eye and break eye contact by looking down and looking back up.
  • Touch as often as possible on nonsexual areas.
  • Wear natural scents such as vanilla and lavender.
  • Expose your wrists – they are but one of several erogenous zones.
  • Point your body in his direction.
  • Tilt your head to the left (studies show this is more sexually attractive).
  • Nod your head when he is speaking.
  • Limit texting, as it is a one-person sport.
  • No sitting on your hands.
  • Hunched shoulders are a turn off.
  • Dart your eyes all over the room – it makes you look insecure.
  • Cross your arms in front of your body (not only does it indicate you are defensive, but studies have found we absorb less information when we close our body language).
  • Keep your hands in your pockets.
  • Stand with your legs crossed (scissor stand).
  • Get too close until you gauge his interest.
  • Don’t rub your hands together.
  • Rub or touch your nose.
  • Slouch in a chair.
  • He looks at you and his eyebrows go up – this indicates interest
  • His pupils dilate (recognize lighting).
  • His lips part slightly.
  • He looks you up and down slowly.
  • You are his sole focus of attention (you are the only one in the room, metaphorically).
  • He touches himself, anywhere, while looking at you (runs his hands through his hair, fixes his socks, brushes his suit jacket, etc.).
  • A shoulder flash (which is a speedy lifting of the shoulders) conveys interest by demonstrating harmlessness.
  • Posturing – erect stance, chest out, shoulders back, stomach in.
  • Leans his upper body toward you.

Why don – t some Asian parents want their children dating black people in the U #meet #local #singles


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A lot of key points have already been touched upon here so I’m not going to go into too much detail with my response. Before I elaborate on points that have already been made, though, people need to become aware of the following:

Asian parents usually don’t want their children to have boyfriends or girlfriends in high school or college altogether.

The reality is that traditional non-Americanized Asian families aren’t exactly ecstatic about their children dating in academic settings in general, regardless if you’re black, white, or that specific Asian ethnicity. The same rule applies to a lot of strict immigrant families.

Now that that’s out of the way, here’s some reasons why Asian parents generally don’t want their children to date black Americans:

1. Collective reputation means a lot

Unlike Anglo-Saxon societies who have a strong sense of individualism and separating the person from the group, East and South Asian societies typically judge individuals based on the reputation of their group or collective. Even in China, individual Chinese being judged by their native province, ethnicity(Han, Manchu, etc.), families, skin tone, education, income/status, and a number of other factors is not uncommon at all. There’s also Indians in India being judged by similar factors on top of the caste system in many parts of India. Mind you, this is starting to change with the increasing number of young, educated professionals living in major Asian cities but the mentality is the same for the time being.

An Anglo-Saxon family who holds negative opinions of African-Americans might make an exception for a non-stereotypical educated or productive African American in regards to interracial dating since our individualism will generally overrule the collective stereotype. Asian families(meaning non-Americanized ones) don’t operate that way however. If the collectivist view towards African Americans is that we are uneducated, poor, violent, immoral, and a number of other negative stereotypes, Asian families will judge you off of that view rather than accept you on an individual basis.

Lastly, it won’t just be the Asian woman or man’s reputation that will be affected from dating an African American but the family’s as well. Since Asian families generally care how other Asian families view them, that will be another basis from discouraging this particular relationship.

2. Light skin preference

People have already touched on this subject so I’m not going to belabor this point too much. It’s a well-known fact that traditional Asian parents frown upon darker skin and since Black Americans aren’t exactly known for our light complexions, this puts us at a disadvantage.

Asian families don’t want half-black children or grandchildren as noted by other answers. Also, Asian parents might be curious over how their children could find a darker skinned individual attractive in the first place which could also lead to backlash.

3. Worried about children’s future

This correlates with my first point. Black Americans are statistically undesirable as a group with regards to education, affluence, family structure, crime rates, and many other categories so many Asian families assume that starting a relationship with someone black will result in economic and/or familial suicide. They think we’re going to bring a lot of problems to their children or the family in general due to our poor reputation such as poverty, single parenthood, domestic violence, or other issues. So, as a result, Asian families won’t accept us because they typically don’t trust us.

That about wraps it up, although others have touched on points I haven’t even mentioned.

One thing I will note, however, is that many Americanized Asian families are actually culturally more akin to upper income meritocratic Anglo/Ashkenazi Jewish families as opposed to traditional Asian families.

This means that, like Anglo-Saxons, Asian families are becoming more individualist in the U.S. but the bar is set high. In other words, if you’re an African-American software engineer who graduated from Harvard and makes a highly decent income(in the $100,000 range), you’ll probably receive relative acceptance from an Americanized Asian family. (Relative meaning they’d accept an Asian or white American with the same credentials over you, but you won’t be hated.)

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