“Why is Dating Korean Girls So Difficult?”
Want to start dating Korean girls? Chances are you’ve hit a wall and are not sure what the heck is going on.
That’s alright. There are things that most expats don’t know at first. Once you’re aware of what’s going on behind the scenes you’ll have more peace of mind.
Know that it took me more than 5 years to figure out Korea’s women (and I still have loads to learn!) In any case benefit from what I’ve discovered and make your dating life with women from the Land of the Morning Calm easier.
Korea’s Women Aren’t Supposed To Talk To Strangers.
Did you have a hard time talking to that woman from Korea?
If dating a woman from Korea wasn’t hard enough – getting a conversation going is tough too!
Unlike most Western cultures – in Korea’s culture it’s borderline weird to talk to strangers (or “mollen saram” as you would say in Korea.)
To talk to strangers means that you have no friends or family.
So if you strike a conversation with her (even to ask for directions) she might walk away. Why?
Because she’s not supposed to talk to you AND she might have to speak English…this makes her even more uncomfortable.
But let’s say you do get to talk to girls from Korea and set up dates. They’re not showing up (even though they were so excited to meet you an hour before the date.)
“Why Didn’t She Show up For The Date?”
So you’ve watched a few K-pop videos of fashionable ladies from Korea. Your Asian friends have told you how “easy” dating those girls is. You’ve believed the surface advertising.
In reality most women from there are conservative. They have social and family obligations that hold them back from going on that date with you (even if they’d love to).
The typical woman must
• marry a local man (of higher status hopefully) before 30
• make children with this guy
• take care of the children as that’s her only real purpose
Now this is an oversimplified version of her expectations but they’re it.
From their society’s perspective – if she deviates from this then indirectly she becomes an “outcast”. Even if she doesn’t the fear of becoming one will hold her back from dating you.
So if she’s not showing up at the dates it’s because her friends and family have reminded her of her “duties” – making dating Korean girls difficult.
Notice my contemptuous tone – I’ve lost Seoul girlfriends simply because I wasn’t “local” enough and yes…it has made me somewhat bitter (unfortunately.) But I’m getting better. 😉
But let’s say you and her are going on a date in Korea. What might make her feel uncomfortable? The stares from local guys.
Local Guys Don’t Want You Dating Korean Girls
If Korea’s culture and society didn’t make it tough enough – Local guys (in general) don’t want it to happen either. They’ll shame her into not dating you.
Note that the prettier she is – the more guys will shame her. Heck one friend of mine told me that guys would straight up walk to her and tell her how ashamed she should be! He was dating a flight attendant and this happened in the Seoul subway.
They’re afraid that you’ll “take their women” (as if women belong to someone.) In reality they’re jealous and insecure. Yes – I’ll say it again: jealous and insecure.
They’re jealous because their society holds them back from dating Korean girls the way they genuinely want.
Expats on the other hand don’t have to deal with their society as much. Local guys (like local women) have obligations too and envy expats because they don’t.
They’re insecure because expats are a variable they can’t control. Not only that but in the hierarchy of things they subconsciously see ‘Western men’ as being slotted above them. Personally I think this is stupid but I didn’t make up the society or their points of view.
Note: Korean guys reading this – don’t confuse the message with the messenger. I’m just calling it as it is.
I also know that you think that most Western men look down on you (and all this adds to the resentment.) Then again I’m open to debate as to what you think is going on.
All in all – these 3 things make dating women from Korea difficult.
“Gee…Should I Even Bother Trying To Date Her if She’s From Korea?”
Definitely. Discover how to meet hot Korean women and make it happen. Koreans as individuals are great to be around. I love meeting them on a personal level.
That being said you’ll have a hard time without it being your fault because of their strict society. Accept the reality and work with it.
In fact you might be pleasantly surprised to discover that Korea is changing to becoming more open-minded.
In any case – Korean women are gorgeous and going through the process to date one is worth it.
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