In reply to the Anon s top-voted answer, I m surprised that Quora would have such a positive reaction to such a biased answer.
I ll preface this by saying I m a biased source as well (obviously), but I just wanted to get it out there by saying that not every Korean girl (or person) is as shallow, mean-spirited, possessive, and demanding as the one s/he dated for 2 years.
Judging from Anon s ability to stay with such a horrible person for a lengthy period of time, I m going to assume she was attractive. I d say this is more a case of bad upbringing (princess-coddling) and self-absorption on the individual than a general reflection upon the Korean people.
I know plenty of (and have had the pleasure of dating) Korean girls who were the antithesis of what was described in the top answer here: humble, extremely giving, loving, supportive, quiet, shy, non-violent, and so forth.
Were they always attractive? Hell no, but there were a few that seemed to be the perfect package.
But isn t that the case for all races? You put up with more shit from the opposite sex based on their attractiveness level (barring what other things they can provide, i.e. wealth, knowledge, power, really great sex, etc.).
Just because I had a bad experience with a few white girls doesn t mean I ve written off the entire race or pigeon-holed them all into definite character flaws.
TL;FI: Not Hell, Koreans are normal people, too.
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Well. uh. I don t think the relationships to be had with an entire nation s womenfolk can be summarized, but since the question asks what it is like to date a Korean girl I might be able to say a few words.
I dated a Korean girl for about 4-5yrs: well about 2yrs of what might be described as a relationship spread out over an extended 5yr fight.
She was from Incheon and moved to the US at age 16. We met in art school: I was 19-20ish and she was about 25-26ish. She had already been in the US for about a decade and finished high school here. Nonetheless, she still considered herself defiantly FOB .
She refused to teach me any Korean for fear I might try to pose as a Korean on the phone w/ her parents (this is back in the days of landlines and me being decidedly prank-happy) or that I d bastardize the language. She had a lot pride in being Korean and Korean culture. However, when I started studying Korean history she was inexplicably upset about it and asked me to stop.
She took me to some Korean restaurants out in the suburbs where she lived–and she would always order the most adventurous (like a bowl of dismembered squid at room temp with some eggs and pickled beets mixed in) entree she could for me. Usually I d take a few bites and let her go ahead and finish it. I d sometimes try to head off the fight on the way home by some jokes about how I loved how Korean never sat so heavy and how I was almost hungry again and how I might need to pull into a 7-11 to grab a quick hot dog or taquito. That of course never went over well. So after an icy trip home (with me occasionally making Antarctic wind sounds with my mouth), I d be served my customary punishment: an obligatory, unannounced two-day phone boycott followed by another week s worth of reproaches accusing me of thinking I was above her culture for not finishing my plate–and how all these other guys she knew would eat everything.
She was a ball of anxiety, full of self-doubts. She had an explosive temper (which began to feel increasingly irrational and petty to me). She was very moody. She was also quite excitable and would get very punchy when I made her laugh (which I adored and still recall with a smile). She was extremely manipulative (which I allowed to spiral out of control). The primary emotions she expressed towards me were outright contempt alternating with nagging neediness. She dressed impeccably well: lots of cute outfits. She was kind of a mess at home (clothes everywhere), and I for some reason thought this endearing. She would never let me meet her parents although they apparently suspected that she dated white boys (I was indifferent to this at first but became increasingly insulted by the arrangement over time). She wouldn t let me call her by her Korean name which I preferred to her American one. Sometimes I would hold her and she would softly cry while I ran my fingers through her hair.
She lived at home until she got married (which I heard about through the grapevine many years after we broke up), and so most of our time spent together outside of school was out at 24hr diners near her place (I had roommates, she had parents she didn t want to upset/offend, and I was dirt poor). There were plenty of meltdowns and arguments at 1-3a at either an IHOP or a Denny s.
I distinctly recall one vicious fight occasioned by her throwing food on my plate. She had been picking a fight about me never wanting to eat her food , (a tired argument I had been assiduously attempting to avoid), and then to up the provocation ante tossed an uneaten pickle right onto my syrup laden pancakes. Now everybody knows that it s bad enough when pickle juice soaks into your fries or hamburger bun, so you can imagine what an unholy combo pickles and syrup-drizzled pancakes are. My patience had already worn short and I snapped at her to remove the pickle from my plate and apologize immediately. She burst in tears, stormed out to the parking lot for maybe 3mins (while I tried not to make eye contact with any of the other patrons), and then came back to the table completely red in her now furious, post-sobbing face (pickle still sitting atop my pancakes, no apology offered). And of course right then the little high-school age server comes round the corner to our booth trying to hustle is tip with a cheerily oblivious: Alright, and how we doing tonight folks!? .
That was one ridiculous fight. indicative of many. Towards the end I came to realize I was often playing a father role to her little girl role and knowing the relationship was cartoonishly dysfunctional, simply let it die a natural death. This charade of a relationship limped along for so long largely due to my own low self-esteem, desperation for companionship and sex, jealousy and boundless patience for her immaturity. I m not sure who finally broke up with who as there had been dozens of tentative/trial break-ups–it was simply like I slowly came to the decision, without knowing it, to sever any contact with her once and for all as she drifted away into another relationship and out of my life forever.
A constant criticism from her was my incessant clowning around–too American and too irreverent I was told.
So that s a little, anecdotal glimpse into my ill-fated relationship with a young lady of Korean descent. Note that none of what I mentioned is all that specific to somebody being born and raised in Korea–I certainly have no bad opinions of Korean ladies just because I had rather unfortunate luck with one particular individual a long time ago.
There s plenty of ladies out there of any descent who might act out the same way and have similar emotional/self-esteem issues.
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